Empty Remains
by Ana-Shadow-Wolf
Summary: They fought. They won. But there was the "after" to deal with... And the scars they would have to carry. Had they truly won the war?


**Disclaimer:** Must we go through this every single time? Everyone knows I don't own a single thing around here!

Link to the fic's cover may be found in my profile!

* * *

"_Never think that war, no matter how necessary nor how justified, is not a crime"_

_Ernest Hemingway._

**Empty Remains  
**

Happy endings only exist in fairy tales…

Zakuro Fujiwara knew this. Had known it almost all her life… But, apparently, there were always new ways of _comprehending _what was already understood…

Or maybe life, destiny or whatever it was, liked to teach lessons several times, instead of burning them on someone's flesh only _one time_… When the wound seemed to be healing, becoming a scar, again the burning steel came to tear her apart, leaving blood running until the lesson was imprinted in her nerves.

The soft wind of the night caressed her face and she closed her eyes, no longer trying to stop her brain and senses of absorbing the information carried in scents that others could not feel.

That other _humans _could not.

"_Once you've won this way, you all will be back to normal" _Those words echoed in her mind in cursed colors. Zakuro almost laughed to herself as she gazed at the full moon, not caring for her own thoughts… They would come as they liked in an unstoppable chain. It was better to accept them than to waste energy trying to stop them.

She stopped walking, leaning her arms on the stone rail and looking down to the river that ran under the bridge she was crossing. Even with the moonlight, the water was too dark for her to see her reflection with a least of clarity… Only a quivering shadow was perceptible, as something that couldn't assume a constant form for too long… And thinking well, wasn't this strangely appropriate?

Lifting her head, she saw trees and grass on the other side of the river and, turning to look at the other side, shadows of the city's buildings and their small lights…

People…

They could be all dead and they wouldn't even know it. Nor care. There would be only the larvae left, feasting on their bodies… So what?

"_How many months has it been?" _Zakuro didn't know. After winning the war against the aliens, time, in a way she could not explain, had day by day stop mattering. Days and nights repeated themselves in an interminable cycle with no real meaning. "_And it would have carried on even if all humanity had died"._

If this had happened, the rest of the universe wouldn't have even blinked. Humans, in their hubris, gave themselves far too much importance… If they had been exterminated, the world would have just kept spinning as if had been doing for millenniums and millenniums…

And all those people that today walked around? In some years, they would all be dead anyway… And after it, it wouldn't take not even fifty years for them to be forgotten. As if they had never existed…

So, what difference did it make that they had won or not?

Not that Zakuro missed the battles, of course… The memory of how she had felt was strong, detailed enough to her to know that this was a feeling she wouldn't ever miss… Waking up everyday not knowing if she would go back home… Seeing people not knowing if this was for the last time… Staying in constant vigilance in case of an attack until every little noise became something that put her in a state of absolute alert, feeling every nerve of her body tense… The sensation of not knowing where to turn every time she reflected on how the aliens were fighting to save their people and feeling a sort of guilt until she no longer knew if what she was doing was right… Looking at the face of each of her (_friends?) _fighting companions, aware that she didn't have friends since years ago (and wasn't it an ironic joke?), but that now she had and, as consequence, had something she feared losing and it wasn't her own life… And…

No.

Zakuro didn't miss this… Not mentioning the terror of the battles themselves. When she had joined the "mews", had been unsure of what to expect, excluding long and painful fights… And never had been sure that they could win… They were just five teenagers with no knowledge of any kind of fight or military tactic. It was them against aliens who had technology which humans could barely dream about and probably had trained for years…

For a second, Zakuro wanted to laugh, but it was a dead will and the laugh would taste bitter. It wasn't as if they were "_just" _five teenagers.

"_Not anymore"._

At least not _humans. _After all, there was that "small" fact that Ryou Shirogane had fused them with animal's DNA that (for a reason that Zakuro wouldn't ever be able to understand) had given them some "special" abilities ("Powers"? She imagined that yes, considering the weapons they were able to invoke and their attacks).

Who cared? The result was there, right?

Yes, it was… Until today.

They had "won". And for some miracle, maybe some divine mercy, they had achieved what could be called a "happy ending". No one had died and it had been a peaceful ending. No one had lost, the aliens had gotten a way of saving their people and they had kept humanity safe.

Maybe, if this was a story, it would certainly have ended with the old "_And they all lived happily ever after"… _It sure had looked like it.

But there was the "after". There was always an "after".

She gazed at the dark waters a bit more, observing the point where the silver reflection of the moon shivered with gentle movements as if rocked by the river. Zakuro imagined how it would feel to be rocked like this, only letting the waters caress her body… She had always thought the river looked far more beautiful at night.

"_It's only left to know, does this come from the human side or the animal? Or maybe this is wrong. There is no "side of this" or "side of that", only a mixture of both with no line to divide them" _What made her… What? She didn't know the answer to this as well and it was a long time since she had given up philosophizing about her form of existence…

_Living _it was more than enough.

Closing her eyes, she whispered an old song to herself.

_The glamour's gone  
The shades are down  
And Tokyo is only a lonely town  
Lonely_

She no longer remembered how it was to have human senses and had given up trying to control hers. As such, the wolf's sense of smell noticed the variety of scents in the night, of trees, cars, people who had crossed the bridge and left a trail, flowers, a sleeping squirrel in a tree… Her audition was able to catch even the smooth waving of the river, the hoot of an owl…

It wasn't the first time she went out late… There were several times when she was unable to sleep, awaken by nightmares… And with time, she had taken the habit of taking walks on the bridge during the late hours of the night…

Ryou had told them that the animal's genes would weaken and, eventually, disappear by lack of use, since they would have no need to fight anymore… And yadda, yadda, yadda…

What an idiocy…

And they… Naives, hopeless naives… Had believed it.

_When love's a laugh  
And you're the clown  
Then Tokyo is only another town  
Dreary_

She hugged herself, although there was no cold. Back on them, they all had believed this… Oh, what difference it made what they had or not believed, thought and done? The result would always be the same, so all the "hows" and "whys" could very well go to Hell…

God, she was so tired…

There was no going back.

There was no going back to anything…

There was no such thing as _"going back to normal"…_

And even the "normal" that they could still keep had been destroyed. And not only for her. There was not even to _what _to go back to.

The genes had kept as dominants as before, but they were not the focal point of everything… It was something which magnitude didn't fit one word or sound, only in the beats of the heart.

_For the loveless clown  
This town's a weary merry-go-round  
And round  
And round_

The first days _had been _good… If questioned, Zakuro wouldn't lie… They had been good, yes… The relief, the joy, the feeling of… Victory? No, in a way, such feeling would be _wrong… _But this was a more healthy and pure feeling… Of having done something good and right…

Every time they could, they would reunite to talk or just hang out, knowing (relishing) that they didn't need to fear an attack and could just relax and _live. _And all were decided to live life at its maximum, something the constant feeling of "this can be my last day" didn't allow them to do completely before…

Mint had dedicated herself more than never to the dance, her wish to become a great ballerina as burning as before… She had got involved in other activities (charity, mostly), with a clear desire of keep doing things that could make a difference… Lettuce had grown more confident and already talked about professions that she considered following, although she wasn't even near the last year of high school… Pudding had resolved to keep working to sustain her family while their father didn't come back from the mountains, but she was enjoying the "vacation" to spend more time with her siblings… Ryou and Keiichiro had decided to keep the cafeteria open, which was good to her and the others… And as much as Ichigo grumbled about it, there was light in her eyes. And why not? That place could no longer be their disguised "headquarters", but it was still _their _place. Maybe it was only cheap sentimentalism, but it was special…

And of course, there was still the other entangled in that fight… Masaya Aoyama…

He and Ichigo went out when they could, enjoying everything at its fullest after escaping that nightmare. Zakuro and the others knew they had witnessed each other coming too close of death, the terror of Masaya revealing himself to be no more than a second personality of a being whose cruelty went beyond all they knew and Ichigo sacrificing her life for him… No one could forget those few minutes the girl had remained still, pale as a corpse… It was only nature that the two lovers spend more time together than ever…

And she? She had continued with her career, dividing her time between this and her friends, as well as other activities…

_There had been _more happiness than before.

Everything had lasted some blissful, wonderful weeks…

But only some weeks…

_The chestnut  
The willow  
The colors of Kenjiro  
Turn to gray, gray hues_

Had that darkness always been present? Only waiting and they had been just too blind by euphoria to realize? Or had it been something that had appeared insidiously?

In a way or another, it had come, blooming inside them as rotten roses…

Zakuro ran her hand through the hair, craving her claws in the flesh. Sometime ago, she would have torn it apart if it meant being able to expulse those thoughts from inside her along with her blood… It didn't make any difference. Nothing would change, no matter what she did…

She looked at the sky, wondering, not for the first time, if the aliens would be feeling the same…

"_Improbable…" _She thought, snorting at the idea. No doubt they had their own scars, but maybe not in the same way.

"_When you win, everything will be back to normal"._

There were times when she woke up and, still not _fully_ aware, Zakuro even wondered "_Is it today that I'll die? Is it today that I'll die?" _as she always did since she had accepted "fighting for humanity" as Ryou would say…

Everything for what they had fought for wasn't there anymore… Time had showed this…

_The band playing Kaneko  
Along the Ueno  
Sounds like way-down blues _

Lettuce no longer found pleasure in making dolls… Day by day, it didn't seem much fun anymore and she didn't care. What for? And she didn't mind much which college she would chose or career, either… The girl (female) would pick just any of them and that would be it, none invoked any spark inside her, none seemed ideal or enjoyable…

Purin still had to make efforts to sustain her siblings, also wanting to spend time with them so they wouldn't feel lonely… However, this seemed inevitable. They would grow up, reach the age in which they would wonder why their father, so soon after their mother's death, had gone away. They would suffer, feel abandoned and, in the end, would grow up and leave, always carrying this in their souls…

Zakuro often sent money to help the younger one, but her problems were beyond it. After all, she was only ten… It was with frequency that Zakuro wondered how much of that war had affected the blonde… Purin never talked about it and refused to do so.

Mint still danced, but to those who knew her well, it was obvious that she had lost that intense desire that had motivated her so much before… The star inside was gone. Her parents kept ignoring her, so more focused on their own professions and trips and although her brother had vowed to change and make an effort to be there for her, those had proved to be empty words. The last time they had met, Mint had refused to eat and looked too pale…

Not that any of them had much hunger…

And, of course, there was the "couple" of the group…

Ichigo and Masaya had broken up.

_Tokyo is a lonely  
Dreary  
Oh, so lonely town  
_

Back on the time when Ichigo had told the news, she and the others still tried (in the way fools do) to keep any healthy tie that there was among them. The cat girl had never told them why, only making it clear that it had been a decision of them both. And she had no desire of talk about it.

Even so, Zakuro was the eldest of the group in several senses. And she had a pretty good idea of what had happened… It wasn't hard to tell, once the same seemed to be happening to her and the others…

Masaya had been a personality of the being who had caused that war. Maybe they could use it as an argument that he couldn't be held on account for Deep Blue's actions, it wasn't his fault, but the terror was present even so…

It was a secret.

All that war was a secret. People could even know the existence of the Tokyo Mew Mews, but they never had had the notion of what was truly at stake. Nor how close they all had been of dying…

The whole war and the truth behind it resumed in that: A secret.

All friends and lovers had secrets, maybe even needed them, but this wasn't a pleasant one. It was something cold that burned the tie that united them and suffocated affection… Something that went beyond fear and pain, surpassed madness to slither in the darkness of a corpse-smelling tomb…

Many times, when they were together at a park or snack bar, that _thing_ was among them. The chimeras they had fought against. The wounds. The fear o dying… There were times when Zakuro looked at Lettuce or Mint and, for a brief second, remembered a wound almost to the point of _seeing _the blood… And she knew the others could see that in her face was well.

God was witness of how sometimes the smell of blood was strong enough to leave her minds, becoming real… And maybe the worse was when they looked at the mirror that was the eyes of each other and saw the truth.

They saw themselves.

_Where's that shining flower_  
'_neath the Tokyo Tower?  
Where's that fairyland of gold?_

Friends and lovers not always live happily ever after, even when they are victorious against the adversities… Even if they had acted the best way possible…

It was months since they had last saw each other… Zakuro called from time to time, but used e-mails with more frequency…

As for Ryou and Keiichiro, she could no longer bring herself to care about them. And had stopped trying… Even if Ryou had had his reasons, even if he had done all this to save humanity (or to avenge his parents?), Zakuro could not forgive him for what he had done. Warriors? Hopes of humankind? _The youngest of their group was only ten years and she was sixteen_. And now, what they had before them was life of knowing they would forever be a mix between human and animal, being both and none at the same time…

And carrying that secret, that dirty and cancerous secret…

_Isn't it a pity that this magic city  
Turned suddenly cold?  
_

During battles, they had found a purpose to that anomaly. But even without fights, they were no heroes or warriors… They were, in the end, merely results of games with DNA…

The last time she had saw Keiichiro, he was in a bar. They had talked briefly, Zakuro aware that long ago, if things hadn't ended like that, she would have loved Keiichiro and it hurt her to see him in such shape, skinny under worn out clothes, red eyes, mumbling apologies as he gave away a strong scent of alcohol…

And her? She wasn't in a better situation…

Being model, actress, even singing, nothing more had the happiness of before… The lack of true pleasure had reflected itself in a professional degradation, until that, to save what was left of her reputation and pride, Zakuro had announced that she was stressed and needed a vacation… After all, she needed her sustain. Keep any pathetic form of life she had left…

Such "vacation" time had been used only to remember of all the years she had wore a mask, smiling and pretending sympathy that were opposite of her true feelings, avoiding the media's fangs and knowing how to play fame's dirty game.

When she returned, Zakuro had fooled them all again, but that mask weight more than never.

Why carry all that for? What it mattered? Nothing. Many times, Zakuro just looked at things around… So ephemeral, so insignificant…

Pathetical.

_The chimneys moan  
The river cries  
Each glamorous bridge  
Is a bridge of sighs  
_

Her agent had given her welcome back, pretending to worry about her state when in truth, he was merely thinking in how much more money he could obtain with Zakuro Fujiwara… Did he know he would die someday? He smiled without knowing that, in truth, he was already dying and each second of life was merely a second closer to death… Maybe he was even already rotting inside and just didn't know…

And Zakuro had kept smiling to a bunch of people who also didn't know this. Maybe they even had bacterias multiplying inside them or some disease growing and laughing of them…

Photographers, fans… People in the street… Carrying on with their lives, unaware that they had almost been exterminated as bugs… And she could very well imagine those people dead… And it wouldn't make any difference. They wouldn't know they were dead or why. How would it feel like? A glowing light and then death?

_What difference did that make_?

_River, river  
Won't you be my lover?  
Don't turn me down_

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes… Maybe if it rained… She would feel cleaner… Lighter…

She leaned her arms in the rail. Nothing would ever change and Zakuro knew it…

A small smile was born as she gazed at the dark waters of the river below. The movement hurt her face's muscles since it was too long since her last _true_ smile.

She had always thought that the river was more beautiful at the night…

_For Tokyo  
Is such a lonely  
Lonely... Town_

News of _Tokyo Night, _reporter Natsuko Shido.

"_It has been confirmed that the body was identified as Zakuro Fujiwara's, 16, recognizable model and actress, who also wrote some songs. Her body was the third found on the river this morning and the counts reach five, all young girls. The police admitted not knowing yet if those cases are connected and thought there is an apparent lack of defense wounds, the possibility of homicide had not been excluded and the police plans to…_".

* * *

To those who want to know, yes, by the end, Zakuro was not the only one to commit suicide, all mews did it.

Wars are terrible and the scars left never truly heal. And they were too young to deal with the burden, so there was no hope left.

The song used is "_Paris is a Lonely Town_", sung by Judy Garland. However, I made some changes to fit better with Tokyo (and I chose only those that I thought could at least rhyme a little, actually...):

\- "_The chestnut /The willow/ The colors of Kenjiro" _originally is "_The chestnut /The willow/ The colors of Utrillo". _Utrillo is a reference to Maurice Valadon, born in 1883 and a French painter. I changed to Kenjiro due to Kenjiro Nomura, a Japanese American painter. The chestnut and willow trees, as far as I know, exist in Japan (if not, then I was misinformed). Plus, there is a nice contrast as in Japan, chestnut trees represent success and hard times, mastery and strength while the willow trees usually represent sadness.

\- _The band playing Kaneko/ Along the Ueno _originally is "_The band playing Bizet/ Along the Champs Elysees_". Georges Bizet was a french composer of the romantic era... "Kaneko" is for Hitomi Kaneko, a Japanese classical composer. "Champs Elysees" is a famous avenue while Ueno is a reference to Tokyo Ueno Park.  
I confess this was the hardest verse to change, nothing that I found rhymed, so in the end, I went with this…

\- Wh_ere's that shining flower/ __'neath the Tokyo Tower? _This one is quite obvious. In the original, it's the Eiffel Tower.

Well, that's it! As always, English is not my first language and if you notice any mistake I made, please, please tell me! Also, tell me what you think, reviews and critiques are more than welcome!


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